Beware... ranting ahead:

I've recently been looking at buying a new cellphone, because my current phone is driving me insane. I bought a phone (no brands mentioned), which has since inspired me to never waste my money on another phone by that manufacturer ever again. From now on I will only ever buy Nokia phones, because Nokia are the only ones that seem to understand the concept of usability. Anyway... enough of that tangent, and back onto the topic.

So I've been going to nearly every cellphone shop in the greater Durban area (ranging from the Pavilion to the Gateway to La Lucia Mall, and the list goes on). The service I've received as a consumer and potential customer has begged the question... who is to blame for the shoddy customer service we receive in SA??? Now, I know this is a worldwide problem, but come to South Africa and you'll see new levels of incompetence and apathy in the retail market (I'm specifically talking about the mobile communications market here).

The biggest two problems I've had are as follows:

1. Staff at EVERY cellphone shop know f*ck-all about any phones. In fact, I knew more than every single salesperson on the floor of every single shop.

2. No cell shop has any working versions of cellphones that you can use to see if you like it. Your satisfaction is limited to feeling the size and weight of the phone... nothing more! I compare this to buying a car without being able to test drive it. You're basically allowed to look at it and see if it'll fit into your garage - but that's it! (read on for their response when I confronted them about this policy)

So to address each issue, here are my complaints. If you work as a cashier, you need to be able to count, recognise counterfeits, use a till, etc. If you're a manager, you need to be able to understand people, know the specific business knowledge, manage your time, monitor progress, etc. But it seems that if you're a cellphone salesperson, all you need to be able to do is breathe. Not one salesperson that I dealt with had even so much as half a brain! I wanted to know when a new phone model was coming out. Not only did they not know the release date, but they'd never heard of the phone. Come on! The phone is listed on the front page of the Nokia website! How hard can it be to keep up to date with the products you sell!!?!? Then every time you ask about a model number, they answer by changing the model to one that they have! Here's a basic transcript of my phone conversation with one of these incompetent fools:

Me: "Hi. Do you know when the Nokia 6680 will be released?"
Salesperson: "You mean the 6670?"
Me: "No. I mean the 6680."
Salesperson: "I'm not sure about that, but we do have the 6670 in stock."

Stupid fool! If I wanted the 6670 I would've asked for it. Stop trying to sell me a very different phone to the one I want!

Then yesterday I took a trip to the Pavilion (again) to try out a new phone (which I was told they had in stock). The first thing that frustrated me was that the phone was NOT in stock. So I asked the guy if they keep any charged phones for customers to try out. He said no (of course). So I asked why... only to given the response "because". BECAUSE!?!?! Is this guy 5 years old!?! I haven't heard a response like that since I was in primary school! And that came from a kid! Admittedly this salesperson most likely had the IQ of a rotting corpse, but that's no excuse. With the lack of employment in this country, I'd expect them to give the job to someone who at least gives a sh*t! Anyway... moving along... So I gave him the analogy of buying a car without test driving it (see above). Needless to say this was lost on him.

So now I ask one simple question... is it our fault that we get such sucky customer service in SA? Do we not expect enough from retailers? Do we just bend over and take it like the consumer prisoners that we are?

Every time I have experiences like this, I seriously consider getting rid of my cellphone altogether. I barely use the thing anyway! The ONLY reason I keep it is because of safety. If you break down at night, you need to be able to contact someone. So the jury will be deliberating on this one until my contract is up for renewal... and hopefully I'm frustrated enough to tell them where they can stick their 24-month rip off!